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The Russians Ban POKEMON GO As It's An American Ploy To Destabilize Their Country

Hang it up guys we've been found out. Destructoid brings us the news today that the Russians have banned Pokemon Go in their country as they know what our plans REALLY are in using it. The Russian government knows now that the popular app is nothing more than a CIA tool to gain government secrets and use them to destabilize the great nation of Russia. Retired general Aleksander Mikhailov tells it like it really is and the inherent risk the Russian population runs in having this app...

"Imagine that the little beast in question doesn't appear in some park but at a secret site where a conscript or other soldier takes and photographs it with his camera...It's recruitment by one's own personal desire and without any coercion. This is the ideal way for secret services to gather information."

Perhaps the best part of the story is that Russia has made their own competitive app that allows users to catch historical figures in Russian history! Who isn't lining up to get ahold of that!? Sorry Russian comrades, looks like no fun for you.